Closure
by JackieStarSister
Summary: After the battle of Exegol, Rey reaches out to Ben through the Force. Canon-compliant exploration of Rey's emotions and Ben's status. Rated T for theme of death.


**Author's Note**

Dear reader: It has been three days since I saw _The Rise of Skywalker_. I enjoyed the experience of seeing it and was very satisfied with some aspects, while others bewildered and disappointed me. After reflecting on it and seeing how other fans have been impacted, I've realized how wrong some choices were (thematically, structurally, etc.), and I ache for the many fans who are hurting so deeply. When I woke up the morning after I saw the movie, I imagined this scene and typed most of it on my phone. It is my hope that I can provide some consolation, however small, through my fan fiction, whether canon-compliant (like this story) or canon-deviant/alternate universe. So this story is for you, and for everyone I bonded with over our shared love of Rey, Ben/Kylo, and Reylo over the past two years. This shows my current understanding of what happened to Ben/Kylo, which is based on the theories and interpretations I've read on Twitter and Tumblr.

* * *

**"Closure"**

"Be with me." Rey tried to make this mantra sound like an invitation rather than a plea.

She had turned the idea over in her mind for a while before she attempted it. Ben had come to her, and the spirits of the Jedi had connected with her, in her most desperate hour. She was no longer desperate, at least not in the same way. She did not need to be rescued. If that were the case, she would feel more confident about this.

It was closure she sought now. She had been so caught off guard, not realizing what was happening until it was too late, that she had not been able to say goodbye, or give thanks, or express her feelings to Ben. She hoped that her kiss had conveyed enough for him to understand. But she could do more than just hope.

"Be with me."

She did not know whether Ben would be able to hear or respond to her. But that was another reason she wanted to try to reach him: she needed to understand what had happened to him, where he was now, whether he was at peace. Leia had told Rey what Luke had said on Crait, that no one was ever really gone; but what did that mean? It worried Rey that Ben had not appeared to her the way Luke and Leia did, as a Force ghost, but she suspected that had to do with being a Force dyad, or the fact that Ben had transferred his life force to her. Despite her shock and pain, Rey had left Exegol feeling strangely complete, as though a missing part of herself had been restored. That sense of wholeness had assuaged her grief, made her feel more at peace with what had happened. But she still missed him—seeing his face, hearing his voice, sensing his emotions—and she still wanted answers.

"Be with me."

Rey imagined herself standing inside the entrance of the _Millennium Falcon_ and pushing the button to open the door. She pictured Ben standing before the bottom of the lowered ramp, waiting to see if she would allow him to board. She reached out her hand in welcome.

"Be with me."

Then she heard him, as clearly as if he had whispered to her from a few feet away: "I'm always with you, Rey."

She opened her eyes, and drew in a shaky breath. There he was, standing and looking as he had appeared in his last hour of life: no helmet, no scars, no heavy layers of cloth. He was not transparent, but looked as solid and clear as he had been in life.

"Ben," she whispered, smiling even as tears filled her eyes.

"Rey." He had never said her name like that before—fondly, tenderly. His lips were parted in the beautiful smile Rey had seen only once.

She stifled a sob and took a deep breath. She wanted to get up and try to touch him, but she was afraid to move, afraid of doing anything that might end this precious connection. "Why aren't you—like your mother and uncle? I've seen them since they died. I thought I might see you too, but …"

Ben sat down before her. "I didn't become one with the Force like they did. I gave you my life force. All of it. I'm part of you now. We're one."

So it was as Rey had suspected. Hearing her own theory repeated back to her made her wonder: "Is this real? Or just a memory? Or a vision?"

After a moment's consideration, Ben said simply, "Yes."

The unhelpful answer made Rey laugh for the first time in a long time, feeling both frustrated and wistful. She had seen Ben's wry sense of humor in several of their interactions. She wished she had been a better mood to appreciate it then.

Now that he was here, all Rey wanted was to drink in the sight and sound of him. But she tried to remember the things she had wanted to say if she had the chance. "I owe you my life."

"I owed you mine."

"For healing you? I'm not sure that counts. I didn't give my life to save yours. And I was the one who almost killed you."

"You did. You killed Kylo Ren. You brought Ben Solo back to life. I had never been so myself as I was after that." His smile became proud, almost nostalgic, and a little cocky. "I felt like my dad, running headlong into danger with nothing but a blaster."

Rey managed a sort of chuckle, but her laughter felt almost like crying. It was the first time she had heard Ben refer to his father with any familiarity. She wiped her eyes, one at a time, not letting him out of her sight. "You deserved so much more than this," she whispered.

Ben became pensive. "I think I deserve what I got." He paused. "At least I got to see you one last time."

She was grateful for that, but for more than one reason. "I agreed to do what Palpatine wanted. I would have given in if you hadn't come. So I owe you my light too. The whole galaxy is indebted to you."

He shook his head. "No. After all the harm I did, I owed it to the galaxy. To my mother's memory." He look at Rey longingly. "I wish we'd had more time together, when we weren't fighting. There was so much I wanted to say, and I ended up saying nothing."

"Tell me now," Rey urged him.

Several moments passed before he said, with grave sincerity, "I'm sorry for everything I put you and your friends through."

Rey had not realized how much she had wanted to hear him say that. One thing she had not been sure about was whether Ben had felt remorse for all his wrongdoings. She had hoped so, but it was so good to hear now.

"I know you are," she said. "I can't say it's alright, because it's not. But we forgive you."

"'We'?" Ben repeated.

Rey nodded. "I told the others what you did. I'm going to make sure people remember it."

He smiled warily. "Don't go turning me into a legend," he warned, only half joking.

"I won't," Rey said seriously. "But I can make sure people learn from you. From your family. It's a sad story, but it needs to be told. You all deserve that much." She paused, remembering something. "Palpatine mentioned your grandfather and uncle—how Skywalker was saved by his father's love. He said he was the only family I had. But he was wrong. You came back to me. And you became as strong as your grandfather."

She could see from Ben's expression that he was touched by her words, that he had not thought about it that way.

"I'm proud of you," Rey said. She suspected that Ben needed to hear those words of affirmation.

"I'm proud of you too," he said. Rey's heart felt full, hearing those words spoken to her for the first time. She had craved to hear them from Han, Luke, and Leia; it seemed fitting to hear them from their son and nephew. But he had more to say. "You really were one of us. If anyone should carry the Skywalker name, it's you." Ben hesitated, then got to his feet, knelt in front of Rey, and lifted his hand toward her face.

Rey froze, wondering, as she had in the hut on Ahch-To, if his hand would pass through her. But she felt his fingers on her cheek, caressing her face the way she had caressed his after she woke up in his arms.

"We live in you now," Ben said. "My parents, my uncle, my grandparents. And me. We'll always be with you." His thumb wiped away the tears that were finally trickling down Rey's face.

Rey swallowed, placed her hand over his. "And I'll always love you."

"I know." Ben leaned over and kissed her forehead. Rey closed her eyes for the briefest moment to focus on the feeling of his hand and lips on her skin. She felt them slip away, and she knew she would not see him when she opened her eyes. But she knew he would not really be gone.


End file.
